Genie and I have five grandchildren. Our oldest grandchildren—Amanda (22) and Ben (20)—are our daughter Jessica’s children. They live in Europe. Our youngest three grandchildren live across the street in the small Massachusetts town where we’ve lived in the same house for the last 36 years. They belong to our youngest child, our son John. Our oldest grandchildren are the ages of most of our friend’s children. That’s because I got Genie pregnant when we were seventeen and eighteen. “I’ll pull out,” I lied to the gorgeous San Francisco hippie princess who’d miraculously stumbled into my life. By chance, she stopped by the most unlikely setting for our first meeting: the religious fundamentalist commune run by my evangelical American parents in (of all places) Switzerland.
Our eldest, daughter Jessica, had Amanda and Ben fairly young (by today’s standards) after she left New York University. Then Jessica moved to Finland with her Finish-American composer/pianist husband Dani. As I write these words in May of 2016, Ben is here for a visit. I hear hammering as he pulls up the old decking in front of our kitchen. We’re replacing the rotten boards. It’s tough to write knowing he’s out there. I hate missing even a minute of working together side by side.
By now Genie’s and my distinction between what seriously matters most and everything else has been rendered in sharply focused detail. After our son went to war, the preciousness of time with our family became painfully clear. Following three wartime deployments and an honorable discharge from the Marine Corps in 2004, John went to the University of Chicago, married Becky halfway through school, graduated with a degree in modern European history, and moved back in with Genie and me until they got on their feet. Fortunately, we could accommodate them. Then Lucy was born.
Lucy lived in our house until she was two years old. Then she moved across the street. To say that Lucy and I bonded is an understatement. By the time Lucy arrived I had dispensed with enough of the striving-for-success clutter in my life to really see the child in my arms. I was no longer distracted, like people at a Hollywood party who are always looking past whomever they’re talking to, for someone more important in the room that they should connect with. I gave this person my wholehearted attention. When Lucy’s little brother Jack was born the happy pattern of daily involvement with our youngest grandchildren was set. A year or two later Nora joined our tribe and turned it into the joyous exhausting riotous throng I live in the midst of today.
Instead of the overwhelming fear we’d suffered from contemplating the possible loss of our son John while he was embroiled in a misbegotten war, Genie and I were offered another chance at life. Since we are both self-employed (rather “self-unemployed” as we call it when our finances get shaky between projects) we were able to rearrange our lives to accommodate being our youngest grandchildren’s daytime caregivers while John and Becky work. Certain things became non-negotiable, like watching Lucy’s newborn face as she slept in my arms. I walked in circles around the kitchen table while holding her. I’d miss “important” meetings and leave “crucial” calls unreturned and instead play music as she slept. This lulled Lucy into a trancelike state where her breathing would slow and her body relax. My arms ached from holding her in one position for so long. As she grew, I discovered you can get tennis elbow by holding a sleeping toddler in one position across your chest, her head cupped in one hand, for an hour at a time, day after day. But I was exultant when my daughter-in-law Becky called me her hero, simply because Lucy slept in my arms after she refused naps in her crib.
Besides this ego-boosting appreciation from a young mother (always a good thing), my reward for enduring these stress-position torture naps was beyond price. Lucy’s translucent, delicately mauve-tinted eyelids would flutter in her sleep, and I was there to see this gorgeousness! I knew she could hear my heartbeat! I’ve never cried for joy over a good review of a novel of mine, or when I’ve been invited to be interviewed by Oprah or by Terri Gross and sales of some of my books have (blessedly!) spiked, let alone over a royalty check. But the sheer beauty of my undistracted closeness to this lovely child, side-by-side with me in our very own gene pool, made me tear up out of sheer gratitude.
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Amen Frank .. for each and every word ! The wife and I are no-nesters ( by choice ) but with us having taught at the higher ed level I can relate to each and every word . How ever long our future may be .. children are the future .
And yes .. Trump is but one result of years of addiction to entertainment ( now FaceBooking and Twittering ) having become addled by celebrity ( re: Neil Postman’s excellent book on the subject ” Amusing Ourselves to Death ” from ….1985 … ) but also our proclivity towards Victimhood ( both on the Left and the Right .. especially the White Right ) as predicted by Robert Hughes book ” The Culture of Complaint ” 1993 as well as Trump having become the predicted results of essay ” The Tyranny of the Masses ” as laid out in de Tocqueville’s ” Democracy in America ”
So what is the answer ? In this lifetime regardless of one’s beliefs .. there is none . Only temporary cures and bandages to be laid on the wounds to the best of our abilities till the only One capable of healing returns
But what definitely is not the answer is to reinvigorate and create a culture of hatred , anger , bigotry and racism fueled by a deepening xenophobia… nor for any religion or faith to presume that a theocracy is within their deluded grasp
Finally regardless of what may be lost .. do consider putting the book into print for those of us like myself that do no online financial transactions as well as preferring analogue pages in hand over any form of Pad / iBook / digital reader
As for the survey at the bottom of the site’s page asking how we’d rate Melania so far .Seriously .. how does one rate an Eastern European gold digging mail order bride , more facelifts than brains whore ?
Frank, this is the you I love the best . . . and respect the most, as well.
How’s that painting coming? I’m getting kinda anxious here! Love, 3:10
PS: I just bought your book, Pal.
I hope it sells like hotcakes . . . not for any fucking politics in it, but for the beauty!
Not all of it, mind you . . . but there are parts of “Letter To Lucy” where the beauty is holy.
I wish you could see me, Frank, sitting alone in a corner of Starbucks reading “Letter To Lucy” on my iPhone, sipping my Skinny Mocha, and listening to beautiful music before I have to leave this respite and start my work day.
This weekend, I will share your book with our grandchildren like you suggested when last we spoke.
Thank you for the four years of early mornings on your part that produced this joy! 😎
Frank, thank you again. You do share BEAUTY with your intriguing & ease of writing. I get lost & engrossed in your narratives, regardless of the subject. I’m just a bit older than you, being reared in a similar family of religious calamity. My parents read your father’s books, but they got fanatical, overreaching in their faith, which resulted in some bigotry & hypocrisy. Of course they were strong Republican supporters & I resisted, even back then. I was so confused with religious bull-manure. When I matured, then married, I voted like my husband, who also was Republican. BUT I got a little wiser, realizing that democracy was tainted by the religious-right. I’m now 70 years old, educated enough that I returned to college. To my surprise I found that I was meant to pursue a life of helping others through behavior science advancement. Along the way, I discovered you & your writings. What a joy you are. I delight in your blogs because you speak TRUTH. Thanks again for your knowledge & for sharing your wisdom with the rest of us like-minded individuals.
Frank,
As an evangelical and all my family are evangelical I am appalled at their ignorance of basic history and basic civics!
Older white male evangelicals being the worst and it leaves me at a loss at how “fact resistant” they have become and how minipulated and unfit they are to govern or even vote!
The evangelical church in some quarters is nothing more than a cult and a dangerous one at that and so when around them one guards ones words for fear of how simple truth riles their anger!
It is simply amazing!
And the rabid censorship of thoughtful opinion that challenges their nonsense in Christian media and at church!
Nine
Nine,
What facts are they ignorant of?
The much simpler question with the much shorter answer would be ;
Name one solitary fact … Biblical … political … economical … sociological .. ethical that they are not either completely ignorant of , choosing to ignore or blatantly hypocritical about ?
Go ahead Bryson … just one !
Martin,
You have misjudged your enemies.
How about Jeffersons wall of separation?
To govern means to govern for all not a minority over the majority.
Did you know Jefferson rewrote the Bible?
Well, more accurately he edited it and set the tone that has served us well for near three centuries.
I will attempt to get through your programming.
The young have abandoned the evangelibots in droves!
So chin up I raised fine children!
So my therapist says…..
Nine
The “wall of separation” is not in the Constitution. Do you think Jefferson meant that religious beliefs should have no bearing on the laws? If that were true, there would be no laws because all laws are based on someone’s beliefs.
I have never seen an evangelical who wants different laws for different people in the US.
No Christians that I know use the “Jefferson Bible”.
I don’t need a therapist. I guess you have issues.
Maybe you should get one.
And btw your use of personal attack would never go if we were talking man to man!
I attacked you personally? But you didn’t do the same to me? Typical liberal.
I follow him
Turn the other cheek
Love those who persecute you
Love that enemy
In that book you see
N
The Separation of Church and State is at the very crux of the Declaration of Independence then guaranteed by the US Constitution and the Bill of Rights and upheld by every Supreme Court be it liberal or conservative since the inception of the Supreme Court .
Seriously … other than your Twitter/Facebook feeds and that propaganda you feed on who’s source you refuse to reveal . .. do you read anything ? Cause in all honesty little man .. you sure as hell haven’t read the Bible , Constitution , Bill of Rights , History or much of anything else
As for issues Bryson ? At the very core of your being you are a plethora of issues covering at least twenty volumes or more all of which by your own volition … are beyond help of any kind
interesting, someone’s beliefs (i will take as meaning ethics in this context) are not the same as religion. Basis for ethical thought in the west came from greek philosophy which informed our laws. Plato’s idea of a supreme being was very different to the current personal deity most westerners prescribe to today. I will argue that it is vital that ethics transcend any person’s religious views as religion seems to be the most divisive and violent system of thought that humans have.
Actually Jefferson did completely rewrite the Bible . Leaving out that which he did not approve of while emphasizing that which he did ,
Which then set the tone for Contemporary Evangelicals creating a god and savior in their own image ignoring most of the Bible replacing much of it with the Gospel of Ayn Rand
I will go futher if I may and that historically fundamentalists of all stripes have been shown to be the least fit to govern.
The facts are that America is a secular state and has been so from the beginning even if religious right so called scholars try to obscure that fact!
That’s why the GOP created Fox News he he….
Nine
Do you mean religious “fundamentalists”? Who says they are the least fit to govern? Are you saying that someone who believes nothing is better qualified? So someone who believes everything is better?
” Who says they are the least fit to govern ?”
Who says Bryson ? Seriously . are you really that ignorant ?
Try the Bible … History ( both church / religious and secular ) .. or to keep it short … reality
Fundamentalists of any stripe … emphasis on ‘ mental ‘ are not fit to be your local dog catcher .. never mind leaders of towns/cities /states countries
And ahhh … for your edification …. the minute any so called Christian tries to mandate their belief system over the entire population of the US … at that point they are in utter contradiction to both the US Constitution and Bill of Rights as well as everything this country stands for . Because my little sycophant … this is and has been a Secular State since its inception .. and sorry to shatter your delusions … but the overwhelming majority of the Founding Fathers that created the foundations of this nation … were Deists … not Christians .
Martin, YOU are a liar, and a fool.
If you believe literally that any one book is absolute truth and intend to force those views on all American’s you are unfit!
That has been how America has been governed for generations and is a historic fact!
The GOP uses religion to gain power and so has hijacked a portion of the American church and we must stand against this as Frank is doing!
Nine
Is some Christian trying to force you to believe something? Are they trying to make you attend church? Yeah, I didn’t think so.
I’m sure you would prefer atheists as lawmakers. Some have been elected. Maybe you can get more in office.
On a microscopic level ?You are .. plain and simple … with each and every comment and reply .
On the national level ? 80% of all the so called Evangelical leaders steeped in a hypocrisy of their own making
Could you possibly have a conversation about our division?
The culture war has been lost by the “bible thumpers” and you must deal with it as the young have left the Church in droves!
Time is on our side of the argument!
N
The Bible predicts that near the end of time things and people will get worse. Like it was just before God sent The Flood. That has happened and you think it is a good thing. As do all who hate God. The real Bible, not Jefferson’s, tells what is going to happen. And it isn’t good news for you and Frank.
Once again my little hypocrite you dare to pass judgment on another’s state of salvation contradicting the very words of the Savior you pretend to bow down before . Namely … ” Judge not lest ye be judged yourself ” … or .. ” He who is without sin cast the first stone ”
Ahh … but here’s the Biblical line you seem to ignore the most ;
Matt 7;21-23 .. emphasis on 23 .. read it and weep little man
Martin, In addition to your many other failings, you are also a Biblical ignoramus.
By your comments you build my case sir!
Our founders distrusted democracy and so created a republic! basic civics you see.
We are not ruled by religion but by the rule of law and a bill of basic rights again basic civics.
I can show you the prophesy of bible doom preached by many going back melenia yours just one of many based on basic history !
N
Liberals say they love democracy. So if you are right about the founders, liberals aren’t like them.
Ahhh …. funny thing Bryson .. todays Alt Right and Tea Party Republicans worship their misguided version of Democracy . Theirs being the kind where only what they want matters and to hell with the rest of the population
Everyone is trying to have the laws agree with them. Your side is famous for that.
Actually what they created both distrusting Democracy as well as a Republic is a Democratic Republic . Created ironically to prevent the likes of a Trump ever taking office
Many people have asked for a non-Apple version of Frank’s book. This link explain how to get a legitimately purchased iBook onto Android. It is a bit geeky.
http://www.tuneskit.com/ibook-tips/read-ibooks-on-android.html
PS Frank, there has to be a way to publish an iBook equivalent on Google Play and so get revenue from this alternative stream?